Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
40s are totally the cure
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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