His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
