And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
