Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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