oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
