I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
