her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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