look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He shit in the fireplace
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
