he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
