I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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