just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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