good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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