thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
