if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
birth control should be required to get into college
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
