What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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