I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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