i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize