why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
