I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
