You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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