yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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