you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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