DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think your dad took our porno
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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