I think I won the penis lottery.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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