im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize