Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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