my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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