Who did Billy Mays play for?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
