the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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