I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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