i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
