If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
