Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
