Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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