He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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