the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
