I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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