And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
