so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
