Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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