??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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