There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize