idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
