Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
