is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
