My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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