look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm bleeding and have questions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize