I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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