So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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