god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
