I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I pour the whiskey from now on
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
