I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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