C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
