She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
