Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
