I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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