I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize