So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Your penis caused this!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
