I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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