She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
